Smile for Me
by Where the Dream Ends
Summary: For most, to say the words "I love you" can be hard enough. For a dead man, it's one of the saddest things he'd ever have to say./TidusxFirion


Pairing: TidusxFirion  
Warning: Yaoi, uke!Firion  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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**Smile for Me  


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Tidus had never been what would be considered 'normal'. He really didn't have the whole hero attitude. He didn't stand out in the way the others did. He had no fantastic skills or selfless goals for world peace. If he were to be honest, if it weren't for his friends he wouldn't care too much about Chaos. Not that Tidus was a callous man by any means. He just already did the 'save the world' thing once, wasn't that enough? For that matter, why did Cosmos pluck him up in the first place? Just because Chaos bent the rules and took Jecht doesn't mean she had to bring him into this oh-so-fun mess. Then again, he knew it'd eat away at him for eternity. And what else did he have to do? Forever seventeen and unable to move forward, mind trapped in cycles of the past that ran through his head. At least now he had something to do.

If there was one thing that he now prided himself on, it was his cheerfulness. Without that he probably would have gone insane by now. Besides, this group needed as many joyful types as possible to make up for the grumps. Who knew so many grouches and loners were good guys? At least Bartz and Zidane were helping to keep the mood light, and Cecil wasn't too bad himself unless his brother was mentioned. The others could be alright, too, if they weren't in too bad a mood. And then there was Rosebud…

The moment Tidus looked into Firion's eyes he knew that there was a connection. There was just something there, drawing them towards each other like gravity. The only other person that had made him feel that way had been Yuna. It confused him slightly, as the slightly older male was nothing like the Summoner. Firion had silvery tresses that seemed…oddly ordinary, not brown hair that shone like silk like Yuna, who also had incredible eyes of blue and green; Firion's was like the color of dirtied snow slush. He didn't need a Guardian; he was strong enough to stand on his own. But yet, there was something in his slush eyes that said he was delicate in his own way. It had been odd how he started comparing this almost-stranger to his old sorta-girlfriend. Why him and not Terra?

Tidus resented him for it.

Tidus was running out of time and he knew it. He could feel the sand in the hourglass pouring into the bottom, and there was no way to turn it over. Each breath he took was one breath closer to the fate that awaited him, and there was nothing he could do about it. Well, he could cry. But he was tired of crying. Hell, he was just tired period. He wondered briefly if his old man was tired, too; and if Auron had been tired, and if all the people who didn't belong with the living no matter how much they wished they did were tired.

Tidus was good at hiding his weariness, though. He was bright and cheerful, because sometimes he could forget that he was a dead man. Sometimes he could forget the horror that was Sin, those days when everyone lived in unimaginable fear of a monster that was as immortal as time. But like the sand in life's hourglass, the chaos ended. And like that, so would Tidus's happiness, and while he acted happy, melancholy thoughts filled his head. Would he always be like this? Stuck in a few select moments of his life? Zanarkand's destruction; meeting Yuna and kissing Yuna and holding Yuna. Oh gods what he wouldn't give to see if Yuna was content with her life. Maybe she found someone new. Someone who was real and not just something dreamed up. At first the idea of her with someone else sickened him, but now it gave him a feeling of grudging peace. Maybe that's what death was like. Letting go until there was nothing left and fading into the afterlife, becoming nothing more than a memory while everyone goes on with their lives as though you never existed.

Yet he could not help the smile that came to his face whenever he saw Firion. It was confusing, especially at first. Yuna had been soft and sweet and delicate, someone who needed to be protected. Firion was like rough edges and could clearly take care of himself. However there was still that gentleness about him that could be seen without too much difficulty, such as when he was holding his precious rose or helping a fallen comrade. Yes, Firion was a seasoned warrior in the body of a young man, but if one cared enough to delve past the hotblooded yet sophisticated surface, they'd be able to see a boy who was every bit as scared and unsure as the others. Maybe that's one of the reasons that Tidus felt drawn to him.

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Tidus kissed him.

He hadn't planned to. If someone had even suggested it beforehand they would've had their head taken off by a blitzball. The Ace couldn't believe it himself when it happened. He wasn't into men. Just the idea of doing anything like that with another male was weird and gross and too foreign. And yet that did not change the fact that he did.

Tidus and Firion had set up camp for the night. Cloud and Cecil were off battling the skeletons hiding in their closets, and so it was only the blond and the weapons expert. After a long day of battling manikins they were tired, but they managed to cook themselves something to eat, which took a while because they didn't want a big campfire to draw attention to their position. They stayed quiet as they ate and focused on eating; the only thing that could keep Tidus's mouth shut for more than a couple minutes. So they sat a couple feet apart, the only sound being the crackling of the flames.

"Tidus, would you mind if I asked you something?"

The youth looked up from his less than savory meal to find his companion's pale hazel eyes staring at him intently as if studying him.

Tidus swallowed his mouthful of his dinner before answering. "Sure. What's up?"

"Why do you want to defeat your father so badly?"

He had been expecting that one. After all, he was the only one here to actually seemed to look forward to fighting a relative. Not to mention it felt like he had been asked that over a hundred times, and so the response came easily. "Well, ya know. He was always acting better than me and treating me like a kid. I gotta show him that I'm strong enough to kick his old ass any day." There. Now that was done until the next day when someone would inevitably ask the same question, over and over again, same old, same o-

"I'd like the truth this time."

Now Tidus hadn't been expecting that one, and it showed on his face as he looked at the silver-haired man.

"I'm not stupid," Firion said, his tone sharp. "I know there's something else there." After a paused, he sighed and then moved a bit closer and spoke again, his words softer this time. "We're comrades. While I'm fine with people liking their privacy, I don't like the idea of keeping secrets from each other. I…I consider you my friend, Tidus. If there's a problem, I'd like to help you with it."

Tidus inwardly sighed. What could he say? 'I'm actually a dead guy that got called back from the Farplane to battle my equally dead father. Oh, and did I mention I'm dead?' Instead, he decided on a half truth.

"I wanted some peace," he murmured. "Even when I've faced my dad in the past, I feel like we've never settled things."

"I see…" Firion's slush colored eyes held a tint of sadness, as if he knew Tidus wasn't being fully truthful and was hurt by it. But it simply could have been a trick of the fire.

They didn't speak for some minutes, each deep in their thoughts. The blitzball player couldn't help but feel guilt coil in his stomach. He had known from the beginning that there was little reason to get close to these people, and yet he was still attached to them, especially the silver-haired male. Why did he have to be such an emotional idiot?

Deciding to just sleep on it instead of suffering through more inner dialogue, he stood up and stretched, a yawn forcing it's way out. "Well, I'm hitting the sack. Night, Rosebud!"

If Firion was annoyed by the nickname, he didn't show it. "Goodnight," he murmured, eyes locked on the fire.

It struck Tidus for a moment that Firion was...beautiful, his silver hair and eyes reflecting glowing from the fire's light, and there was actually color in his pale face. It was so strange. Tidus had never thought of a man being beautiful before, and in this startling revelation he barely took a step and like the graceful warrior he was, he tripped over his shoelace and landed on Firion, the two males falling over with their lips accidentally colliding.

_He tastes likes vanilla_, Tidus dazedly thought before his other senses kicked in and he jumped up and away from the other, who's cheeks were flushed a red that rivaled his precious rose.

Firion touched his bottom lip, his mouth moving as though trying to say something that no words could properly express. As for the blond, he was so mortified all he could think about was how awful and humiliating this was. Firion was a friend and comrade! How could he have done that? _Argh, I'm never gonna live this down!_ It was only by some mercy that no one had seen it. Feeling as if a weight was pressing down on him, he hurried to his tent and went inside, lying down and waiting for a slumber that did not want to come.


End file.
